One night many years ago, my dad came into the kitchen where I sat drawing at the table. ( I was staying with my parents for the weekend while I attended the Los Angeles Gift Show at the LA Convention Center.)
He looked at the drawing I was doing as I explained that a buyer at the show had made some suggestions for one of my cards.
"She said I should change this one."
"I see," he said. That's all he said. "I see," and with the kind smile he typically wore, he headed for the den to watch the eleven o'clock news.

I put my pen down, took off my glasses and rubbed my forehead. The light in the kitchen was way too bright. My head hurt. The day had been exceedingly long. And agonizing. I had escaped to the lady's room at least three times to have a good cry over some of the comments I heard people saying about my work. I had had no idea what to expect as I stood there beside my cards in their little display rack, but if this first day was any indicator, I was in for two more difficult days. But maybe not if I followed the suggestion of a well-dressed buyer from San Diego.


She had come by my booth late in the day and read several of my cards. Then she picked up one that had a little tiny cupcake on it.
After she read it to herself, she read it out loud to me:
"I know what I'd like to say to God about you. Oh, thank you! Thank you!"

As she put the card back in the rack she said, "You need to know something; the 'G' word will kill a card. No one I know wants the word God in their store unless they're a Bible store. In fact," she said, "I might even order from you if you took God off the card, because I like your work in general. It's different."

I loved that card just the way it was, but since no one had bought anything from me that day, I was willing to trust her judgement. So there I sat in the brightly lit kitchen and I looked over the revision I had just made. Removing the word God from the front of the card, I changed it to read:

"I know what I think whenever you come to mind…thank you, thank you."

Of course I had now completely changed the entire essence of the card, but I thought if it would make it more salable, that small concession would be worth it.

About twenty minutes later, my dad came back through the kitchen on his way upstairs to bed. He sat down at the table across from me. I said, "I had to take the word God off the cards because a lady said she'd buy them if I didn't use the word God. She says no one really wants a card in their store that says God unless they're a Bible Book Store or something."

My dad stood up, pushed his chair in slowly and looked me right in the eye and said,
"Well, I think it's a great idea!"

I was so relieved! There was no one whose opinion meant more to me. Actually I was stunned.
"Really?" I asked. "You really do?"

He said, "Why, yes! Because you need to tailor your work to your buyers. And then tomorrow when you take this new version to the gift show and someone comes up and says,
'Why don't you change that cupcake to a Twinkie because no one likes cards with cupcakes on them, you can change it to a Twinkie. And then the next day, someone won' t like Twinkies so you can change it again…"

I could feel how serious he was. He even had his business man face on. He gripped the back of the maple kitchen chair with both hands and leaned forward and said,

"If you don't believe in your work enough to stay true to it, then you shouldn't be in business. And I know you: if you take God out of your work, you're not being true to yourself. So if you change your cards a little bit here, and a little bit there,
guess what? No one will be able to tell it's your work. Not even you."

Then he patted me on the shoulder and said,
"Goodnight, Dearie," and headed off to bed.
( I always loved when he called me Dearie…)

They say milestones are much easier to recognize as we look back on them. This was one I reflect on often because the importance of being true to ourselves is hard to overstate.

It didn't matter if one or two or fifty buyers didn't "get" Lifesighs as they walked through the gift show. What mattered was that Lifesighs had its own identity and I needed to be its shepherd and protect it. (Even if it was protecting it from me…)
So I put the revised edition of the cupcake card in the "what was I thinking pile," bundled up the original version and headed for bed. I had cards to sell! If not the next day, then the next. Or the next.
~
That was twenty-five years ago, and that cupcake card is still one of my favorite cards. Some days, I wish there were mail service to Heaven. I'd love to send it to him again.

"I know what I'd like to say to God about you, Dad.
Oh, thank you! Thank you!"
xo
Dearie


In memory of my dad, Bill Givens, June 1,1916-February 28, 2002
Such happiness!